Dreams
by Jeremy Harper
Summary: Happosai is up to his tricks again with some 'new and improved' Spring Sleep Incense. It doesn't work as intended however: instead of being in a dreamless state Ranma is now constantly dreaming and acting them out. Come take a look at his dreams...


Dreams.  
  
A Ranma ½ Fan Fiction  
  
By  
  
Jeremy Harper  
  
  
  
Disclaimer - Ranma ½ is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi, and is used without permission.  
  
  
  
In the deep darkness just before dawn the Saotomes slumbered peacefully, Ranma sprawled out spread-eagle on his futon, snoring softly, while Genma- panda grumbled and rumbled in his sleep. As they slept their bedroom door quietly slid open, and an almost impossibly small figure crept furtively in. It was an old man, no taller than a toddler, dressed in a black gi, with a matching scarf tied around his balding, wrinkled head. In one hand he carried an incense burner, in the other a bucket of water. He set his possessions down then looked down at Ranma, staring at the young man with large, lamp-like eyes.  
  
"I have you this time, Ranma," the old man muttered as he leered. He started to cackle, then slapped a hand over his mouth and watched Ranma warily. The young man just murmured in his sleep and turned his head. The old man sighed in relief. "You almost forgot yourself there, Happi," he whispered to himself. "Don't want to wake the boy up and risk him ruining what you've got planned." He snatched up the incense burner and held it up triumphantly over his head. "It took me a month to prepare it, but now it's ready. My new and improved Spring Sleep Incense! One whiff of this and Ranma will be sleeping 'til summer. And his sleep will be so deep he won't even dream. He'll be in my complete power. That'll teach him to interfere with my pursuits!" Happosai cackled again, and again covered his mouth. "I gotta stop doing that," he mumbled peevishly.  
  
Happosai set down the brazier next to Ranma's head and adjusted his scarf so that it covered his nose and mouth. He then lit the incense, its wick sputtering stubbornly for a few seconds before its flame caught fully. Chortling softly, Happosai drew a fan from his gi and began to wave the sweet, pungent smoke at Ranma. It drew across his face like a veil of cinnamon lace, tickling at his nose and caressing his cheeks. Ranma muttered again, running the back of his hand across his face. He turned his head left, then right, then started to cough softly. The coughing subsided, and Ranma settled down deep onto his futon, now snoring a little louder.  
  
Happosai let Ranma inhale the incense fumes for a few more minutes before snuffing it out. He poked at Ranma's neck, hard, his finger leaving slight bruises. The boy didn't even stir. The old pervert ripped off his scarf, his wizened face split by a wicked lecherous grin. He grabbed for his bucket.  
  
SPLASH.  
  
"Sweeto!"  
  
"GWAAAAH!!!"  
  
Before he could blink Happosai was slammed to the floor by a terrific punch. He looked up in shock at the angry redhead looming above him, her face almost glowing with righteous, murderous fury.  
  
"Ranma, my boy! You're awake!" He exclaimed incredulously.  
  
"Awake?! Of course I'm awake! Are you stupid enough to think that I'm not gonna wake up when a GODDAMN, WORTHLESS OLD FART OF A PERVERT DUMPS WATER ON ME AND FEELS ME UP?!" Ranma all but screamed, punctuating each word with brutal kicks and stomps. "For the last time, get outta this house and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Ranma grabbed the battered remnants of the Greatest Evil in All Japan by his belt and dropped kicked him out the bedroom's open window. Ranma slammed the window shut, making the glass panes shiver, and stalked about the room, a constant stream of invectives rushing out of her.  
  
"Goddamn, goddamn, goddamn it! Damn that old freak, I wish he'd shrivel up and die. Just once, JUST ONCE, I'd like to get through a week without some maniac trying to pull something on me. Damn it all to friggin' hell, if he does something like that on me again I swear I'll put him in a body cast, master martial artist or not. I'll." Ranma's tirade was cut short when something struck her hard in the back of the head. Ranma pivoted around to face the pair of bleary, beady panda-eyes glaring at her. Genma held up the sign he used to swat Ranma.  
  
Will you shut up, boy? I'm trying to get some sleep. It read.  
  
"Fine, then let me help you back to sleep!" Ranma snatched the sign from her father and smashed it to splinters over his head. Genma fell back onto his futon, unconscious, another sign held up in his paw: Knockout!  
  
Cursing under her breath Ranma stalked off to the bathroom. It was obvious she wouldn't be getting any more sleep this morning.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
Ranma yawned loudly, opening his mouth wide. He stumbled slightly as he did, nearly falling off the fence rail he was walking on. He quickly rebalanced, shaking his head in an effort to clear it of the fog of fatigue. Akane looked up at him curiously.  
  
"Didn't sleep very well last night, Ranma?" she asked. Ranma scowled and cursed under his breath.  
  
"The old freak dumped water on me at something like four in the morning," he grumbled. "I'm surprised I didn't wake the entire house up when I thrashed the hell outta him."  
  
"I think everyone's gotten used to loud goings-on during the middle of the night," Akane mused. "I must have slept right through it."  
  
"Lucky." Ranma yawned, then grimaced. "I'm really getting sick of the freak, always pullin' stunts like this. I wish there was some way to get rid of him for good."  
  
"So do I. I'm tired of having to buy new panties and bras every few weeks because of Happosai, but it won't do any good throwing him out. He'll just return, beat up our dads, and make them take him back in."  
  
"How revolting," Ranma commented sourly. "He can do pretty much anything he damn well pleases because no one in the house is good enough to slap him down on a consistent basis. I guess what they say is true: might makes right. Bah!" Ranma yawned and stumbled again, this time nearly falling off the fence and into the canal. When he righted himself up his Maoist cap fell off his head towards the sidewalk. Akane deftly caught it. Ranma jumped off the fence, landing next to her. She handed the cap back to him, and he nodded in thanks.  
  
"I think you should lay off the fence walking for today." Akane suggested. Ranma nodded again as he stifled a yawn. They quietly walked together the rest of the way to school.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
School, tedious under the best of circumstances, was today nothing short of torture. Ranma nodded and yawned through all his classes, trying his best to keep from falling asleep. Under ordinary circumstances he would have just napped through his lessons without guilt, but both Kasumi and Akane had been pestering him about his grades and his generally indifferent attitude towards school. To not at least try to do something Kasumi asked of someone was pretty much close to a sin as far as Ranma was concerned, and despite complaining about his 'nosy, uncute tomboy' fiancée there was in truth very little he could deny Akane, so though he groused a little he promised on his word that he'd try to improve his grades this term. So he gamely struggled to stay awake, though it did him little good from an academic standpoint; his brain was so fogged by weariness he could barely comprehend his teachers, and making notes in his condition was a lost cause.  
  
After several classes that seemed to make time crawl slowly backwards the lunch bell finally rang. Ranma gave fervent thanks under his breath, grabbing his bento and stumbling out of the classroom, making his way outside, hoping that the cool spring air would help clear his head. He staggered to the tree he shared with Akane, sitting beneath it, back against its trunk. He considered his bento wearily, pondering whether it was worth the effort to eat his meal, finally deciding he needed a nap more than lunch. He took a sip from his water bottle, put it and the bento to one side, folded his arms across his chest and closed his eyes, resting his head against the tree. He fell asleep almost instantly.  
  
A minute later Akane, Yuka and Sayuri joined him, sitting near him under the tree. Yuka and Sayuri looked at Ranma curiously.  
  
"Wow, Ranma's really out of it, Akane," Yuka commented. "Is he okay?"  
  
"Yeah, he's just tired. Happosai woke him up very early this morning by dumping a bucket of water on him."  
  
"That's terrible!" fumed Sayuri. "That old man is really unbelievable."  
  
"Poor Ranma." Yuka sighed sympathetically. Akane nodded in agreement.  
  
"Let's all be quiet so Ranma can nap in peace. He's been trying to get his grades up, but he won't be able to do so if he sleeps through all of his classes." The three friends started to eat lunch, talking and gossiping in whispers. None of them noticed Ranma shift fitfully in his sleep, nor heard him murmur softly.  
  
"Hey Ran-chan!" The girls looked up from their conversation. Ukyo was strolling over to the tree, two bentos in her hands. "I got a fresh okonomiyaki with your name on it sugar!" She drew up short when Akane, Yuka and Sayuri hushed at her.  
  
"Not so loud!" Sayuri scolded softly.  
  
"Ranma had a bad night's rest. Let him sleep, Ukyo." Akane explained. Ukyo frowned at Akane for a moment, before suddenly brightening up.  
  
"Oh, he can sleep anytime, and I'm sure my okonomiyaki will give him some pep back."  
  
"I really think you should let him be, Ukyo. He just barely got through classes today without falling asleep."  
  
"He won't mind, I'm sure. Ran-chan ALWAYS makes time to eat MY cooking." Ukyo replied to Akane with a rather toothy grin. Akane couldn't help scowling at the jab, huffing and looking pointedly away from the other girl. Yuka and Sayuri frowned darkly, giving Ukyo dirty looks, but she paid those two no heed. She opened her bento, letting the aroma of her cooking escape and waft out to Ranma. "Doesn't it smell good, Ran-chan?" Ukyo asked unctuously. Ranma stirred a little, his head turning slightly in the direction of the wonderful smell and Ukyo's voice, but he did not waken. Ukyo leaned over, reaching out to shake Ranma's shoulder. "Come on and wake up before it gets cold."  
  
Akane pecked angrily at her lunch, trying to ignore Ukyo and her cajoling, when suddenly she heard Ukyo let out a surprised shriek, followed by the sound of a soft thump. Akane looked back around to see Ukyo lying on her back some ten feet away from Ranma, looking dazed and surprised. Ranma still sat against the tree, sleeping, while her friends looked back and forth between the two in bewilderment.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Ranma THREW Ukyo!" exclaimed Sayuri.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah. Ukyo shook him by the shoulder, and he reached out and sort of tapped her on the arm and she just flew away from him!" Akane gaped at her fiancée. He hadn't done anything like that to Ukyo since he found out she was a girl. She stood up and approached him hesitantly.  
  
"Ranma?" Ranma did not reply. He appeared to still be sleeping, head bowed, chin resting against his chest, arms crossed and legs tucked in Indian- style. Akane could even fancy that she could hear him snoring softly.  
  
Ukyo sat up with a loud groan, hand pressed to the small of her back. She glared angrily over her shoulder at Ranma. "What the Hell did you do that for?" she demanded.  
  
Ranma said nothing.  
  
"Hey, I'm talking to you, jackass!" Ukyo shouted as she got to her feet, still holding her back. "Why did you throw me like that, Ranma?"  
  
Ranma said nothing.  
  
"Don't you dare ignore me, answer my question!"  
  
Ranma said nothing. Ukyo let out a scream of inarticulate rage and frustration, drawing out her great battle-spatula. "I'll teach you to act like a jerk!" Akane jumped back as Ukyo charged, swinging it at Ranma with the intent of embedding him painfully into the tree. Ranma raised his arms and effortlessly checked the swing, his palms slapping sharply against the flat of the spatula and stopping it cold. Before Ukyo could react he grabbed her weapon by its haft and pulled, sending her vaulting through the air and landing hard on her back ten feet in the other direction. He bent the spatula into a hoop and tossed it aside. He did all this without opening his eyes, or even raising his head.  
  
"He's. sleepfighting," Akane whispered, awed. "But, why is he doing it?"  
  
"I think I can explain that, Akane dear." Akane started at the unexpected voice, then jumped with a shriek when she felt a small hand goose her on the butt. Eyes screwed tight in rage she let instinct take over and spun quickly around, slamming her fist down onto the offending pervert. Her strike felt satisfyingly solid to her fist, and it drove her target right down into the ground. She opened her eyes to survey the results.  
  
"Happosai." she breathed.  
  
"That hurt, you know," the diminutive lech groaned into the grass. A great purple knot crowned his bald head.  
  
Akane snorted indelicately. "Like I care. Do that to me again and you'll get worse." She crossed her arms and glared at the old man as he hopped to his feet and brushed off his gi.  
  
"That's a cruel thing to say to your old grampa Happosai. I can't believe you'd begrudge a poor old man his harmless pursuit of leisure."  
  
Akane rolled her eyes. "Oh please, spare me." She then looked seriously at Happosai, her face troubled. "You said you could explain what's wrong with Ranma."  
  
Happosai nodded. "He's under the influence of my new and improved Spring Sleep Incense."  
  
By this time the activity beneath the tree had attracted, like lemmings to a cliff, a crowd of students. Upon hearing Happosai's explanation a collective groan rose from them. "Oh no, not again," someone declared.  
  
Akane paled. She knew from personal experience and the recollections of her friends how strange and dangerous the effects of the Spring Sleep could be. She glanced worriedly at Ranma. "Is he going to be all right?"  
  
"Oh perfectly fine, but I'm a little disappointed with my new formula. He should be in a sleep so deep and dreamless that he shouldn't be reacting to his surroundings. I obviously failed to take into account his superior constitution." He assumed a pose of pondering. "Maybe if I use more eel roe and a bit less bat guano. Oh well, I'll figure it out later. For now, one must make the best of what life offers." He pulled from nowhere a bucket of water. "Ranma my boy, its time to show you some indiscriminate grappling!" Akane tried to kick the bucket away from Happosai, but he jumped over her attack with ease, landing lithely behind her and throwing the water. But all it splashed was the tree trunk; Ranma was gone.  
  
"What!" the old man cried out in disappointment. "Where'd he go?" His question was answered when Ranma landed on him, driving the old lech face- first into the dirt for the second time today. Ranma sat back down, pinning Happosai to the ground, who struggled futilely to get away.  
  
"Ah! Ranma, you wretched boy! How dare you treat your master in such a disgraceful fashion! Let me up this minute, d'you hear me? Let me up! Let me." In one smooth, liquid motion Ranma stood up, pivoted, bending down to grab Happosai by the belt, straightened up while still pivoting and dropped- kicked the old man into the sky before sitting back down. The old man arched gracefully, apexing just over the school and descending behind it, disappearing from sight. The crowd of students murmured appreciatively; a few girls applauded.  
  
"Wow, Ranma's an even better fighter when he's asleep!" One student commented. His girlfriend nodded in agreement. Akane and her friends just stared at Ranma, Yuka and Sayuri warily and with some disbelief, Akane with concern and worry. Ukyo walked up to them, grumbling under her breath and holding her back, eyes locked on the slumbering boy, her expression one of cross apprehension.  
  
"So that's what's wrong with Ran-chan," Ukyo commented, stretching her back. It popped audibly under her ministrations. She glanced over at Akane. "So what are we going to do with him? He's dangerous like this." Ukyo grimaced, rubbing her back for emphasis. Akane shook her head.  
  
"I don't have a clue. There's no way we can restrain him. What did you guys do when I was like this?"  
  
"Nabiki sold Ranma some incense that she claimed would break the spell," answered Sayuri. "It made you think it was summertime, and you woke up."  
  
"Yeah, that's right!" chimed in Ukyo. "It sorta smelled like mosquito repellant." She blinked. "In fact, it was mosquito repellant. I found the wrapper in the wastepaper basket when I was taking out the trash after school."  
  
"It figures," Akane groaned, shaking her head. "My own sister."  
  
"I think there's some in the janitor's supply closet. I'll go check," Yuka offered.  
  
"But will it work though? The old pervert said that it was a new and improved version." Sayuri questioned.  
  
"He also said that Ranma should be sleeping so deeply that he wouldn't be acting like this, and that obviously isn't so," Akane pointed out. "Plus what do we have to lose? Yuka, would you please go get the repellant? We'll stay here and try to keep Ranma under control." Yuka nodded and ran off to the school building. Akane turned back to Ranma, looking curiously at his sleeping, seemingly peaceful face. "I wonder what he's dreaming about." she mused softly.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
"Would you hurry up, boy? Don't keep her waiting. Go out there and impress her!"  
  
'Impress her?' Ranma thought, looking at his father incredulously. Ranma shook his head then stared down at his clothes, looking at his threadbare shirt, his patched and dusty pants, his worn shoes stained with mud and worse. He looked at his hands, noting how calloused and coarse they were, their knuckles raw and red. Ranma lifted his head and looked to his left, into the mirror suspended on the hallway wall, seeing the scar tissue around his eyes and the thrice-broken nose caused by ten years of constant training and fighting. He looked to his right, at his father, recalling the well-earned notoriety of gluttony and petty theft Genma possessed, and the repercussions it had on his own personal honor and reputation. Ranma shut his eyes and considered himself; how he labored under a curse that made him half a man and a total freak under any measure of normality.  
  
'Impress her?' he thought scornfully. 'Like someone as great as her would be impressed by the likes of me.' His shoulders slumped; his face sagged under the weight of hopeless sorrow. 'As if someone as wondrous and beautiful as her would ever want someone like me.'  
  
A flourish of trumpets sounded, and the great wooden doors at the end of the hall were thrown open. Genma pushed Ranma forward. "Go on boy, don't dawdle. Remember that the fortunes of our family ride on this." Ranma shook his father's hands off irritably and strode forward, mustering all his pride, his face settling into a façade of stoic resolution. And that was all it was: a façade. For from the moment he stepped into the throne room he felt small and out-of-place, its opulence painfully reminding him of the poverty and meanness he had lived with all his life. The floor was paved with the finest marble, polished and flawless. Torchlight reflecting on tiles of mother-of-pearl made the walls shimmering panes of golden witch light. Twin rows of bone white fluted columns supported the lofty ceiling, on which bright masterful murals had been painted, each one depicting a particular triumph or victory of the Princess's clan. Standing arrayed before either row of columns were the lords and ladies of the court, dressed in scarlet livery or crimson gowns, on which a white cloud mon stood out in stark contrast. Ranma could palpably feel their disdain and hostility directed at him, but he did not look at them, commanding his focus on the great dais at the throne room's end, made up of sixteen golden steps. On the steps stood the inner, favored members of the Princess's court; arrogant Kuno, scowling Ryoga, dreaming Shinnosuke, sly Nabiki, quiet Kasumi. Each one clad in finery worth more money than Ranma had seen in the ten years he'd traveled with his father; Each one looking at him as if he were some insect that had crawled onto the dinner table.  
  
And at the dais' top- alone - the Princess Akane sat in a cushioned throne carved from a single block of amber. At the sight of her Ranma nearly stumbled. The breath caught in his throat and his heart began to race, thrumming hard against his ribcage, making his chest practically vibrate. She wore a sleeveless dress of yellow silk that clung tightly to her form; showing off her sleek, trim body. A scarlet cloud mon emblazoned across the dress's chest accentuated the swell of her firm bosom. The skirt stopped just below the knees, but had been slit at either side up to the hip, exposing her long, wonderfully toned legs. Jeweled sandals adorned her dainty feet, silver circlets her arms, a delicate gold tiara her brow. Her skin was as pale and as fine as moonlight. Short midnight blue hair framed her face, highlighting a pert, slightly upturned nose, full, beautiful lips, and most of all her eyes. Brown and warm, filled with an innate gentleness, but in no way weak or indecisive, Princess Akane's eyes were the only ones that did not look at Ranma with disdain, but instead held an honest- if neutral- curiosity. Seeing her enthroned, regal, wondrous, beautiful beyond compare awed Ranma, making him ache to his bones with a clean golden flame of desire and love. It took every ounce of his will to keep from falling to his knees and crying out praise to the gods that had made her.  
  
Ranma stopped ten paces away from the dais. Bowing his head he genuflected, dropping to his left knee while covering his heart with his right fist and planting his left fist against the cold marble of the floor. "Your Highness," he began, a little hoarsely. "I am Ranma Saotome, and I have come to offer to you and your family my eternal loyalty and devotion."  
  
"HA!" barked out Kuno, drawing and brandishing his intricately etched ceremonial bokken. "As if the heavenly Princess Akane Tendo would debase herself and her court by accepting the services of a dog's head like yourself. Get you gone from her sight, before I thrash your lowly hide."  
  
"For once I agree with Kuno," spoke out Ryoga. "You don't want such a person in your employ, your Highness. He looks like an honorless bastard who couldn't keep his word if his life depended on it."  
  
"He looks cruel as well. I think he'd say many hard and shameful things to you if you kept him around." Shinnosuke murmured  
  
"Yes, we don't need a vagabond without a yen to his name among your vassals, little sister," supplied Nabiki. "Plus I've heard of his father, Genma Saotome. He's a well-known thief and glutton. I've found in my experience that the apple rarely falls far from the tree."  
  
"He's so dirty and ragged. And look at the hunger of his eyes. He'll make a mess of our estate and empty our pantries without qualm if we accepted him." Kasumi commented placidly. "Send him away, Akane dear. It is for our own good."  
  
Ranma trembled with suppressed rage, his face flushed with an ugly red hue, but he did not attempt to refute their accusations. For being in the presence of this woman- smart and beautiful, wealthy and well loved - also stirred and awoke within him a dark, grim part of his soul. The part that harbored and contained his doubts, and that secretly agreed with the advisors and friends of the Princess Akane. Why on earth would she want a ragged pauper of dubious family, reputation and behavior? To even be seen with such a freak would be an untold embarrassment. Ranma shut his eyes and waited for the inevitable dismissal that would crush his racing heart.  
  
"I don't know," murmured Princess Akane, her voice gentle and pleasing to Ranma's ears, like soothing dulcet notes chimed from a silver bell. "I value and trust all of your advice, but I think you are being a trifle hard on this man. He doesn't look so bad to me. True, he is a bit ragged, and some instinct tells me he may be a bit of a pervert, but I don't think he's so much of a scoundrel that he doesn't deserve a chance." She thought for a moment then leaned forward, looking intently at Ranma. "Saotome." Ranma looked up, his gaze locking with hers. He swallowed, trying to summon the nerve to speak directly to her.  
  
"Y-yes, your Highness?"  
  
"What are you good at, Saotome? Do you have any talents that I would find useful or entertaining?" Ranma bit his lower lip, lowering his eyes as he tried to cudgel out of his brain an appropriate response. He looked back up.  
  
"I can fight," he answered. "I'm the greatest fighter there is." Kuno snorted derisively, while Ryoga scowled angrily and Shinnosuke simply frowned. Nabiki smirked, seemingly amused by the audaciousness of Ranma's declaration. Kasumi simply blinked.  
  
But Akane smiled, her eyes lighting up with admiration. She leaned back in her throne. "Well then, Ranma Saotome, let us see you fight."  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
"He must be having a weird dream." Ukyo commented. Akane nodded in agreement, watching Ranma kneel on the ground, head bowed. She could hear him murmur: "Yes my lady. No my lady. I'll do it my lady." He then stood up suddenly. "Now what is he doing?" Ukyo murmured. Akane looked closely at him, then started.  
  
"Oh no, look at the way he's standing. EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM HIM!" As soon as she shouted Ranma began to weave and bob in a familiar way, as if dodging the blows of an invisible foe. Then he started to retaliate.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
Ranma woke up. "What a strange dream," he muttered to himself as he stretched and yawned. He opened his eyes, and that's when he noticed several unusual things in rapid, split-second succession.  
  
He had evidently fallen asleep while fully clothed and standing up.  
  
Kuno was charging him, bokken raised high with intent to smash him flat.  
  
He was in a large fighting ring.  
  
Said fighting ring was in the center of an arena so large that it made the Tokyo Egg Dome seem like a high school gymnasium, and it was packed to the rafters with screaming, cheering spectators.  
  
"What the hell. Woah!" Ranma ducked, just barely dodging Kuno's attempt to strike his head off his shoulders and into the cheap seats.  
  
"Stand still so I can smite thee, you cretin!" Kuno roared in protest, slashing at Ranma's legs. Ranma jumped the blow then dropped to the mat to avoid a thrust to the midsection. Planting himself on one hand Ranma lashed out with a flurry of blurring kicks. Kuno's eyes bulged, his breath rushing out from his lungs under the assault. He staggered backwards somehow managing not to fall over, stumbling to the far side of the ring until he hit the ring ropes, leaning back against them for support. "Thuh- that didn't huh-hurt," he gasped out painfully.  
  
Ranma kipped up gracefully to his feet, settling into his relaxed stance. "Whatever, Kuno. What's going on here?" Kuno did not answer; instead he lurched off the ropes and charged Ranma with a cry. He struck at Ranma with a blistering barrage of swings and thrusts, each blow thrown with enough force to shatter concrete. Ranma evaded them all, effortlessly, swaying and leaping through each attack with casual grace. Finally Kuno pulled back his bokken and let lose a mighty thrust. Ranma dodged it, leaping into the air and landing nimbly, impossibly on Kuno's outstretched sword. He boggled in disbelief, and paid for his hesitation when Ranma kicked him in the side of the jaw. Both men tumbled to the mat, Kuno falling painfully on his arm, Ranma smoothly on his feet. Undaunted, Kuno struggled back up, using his bokken for leverage. He raised it high above his head, preparing to unleash one last, desperate attack, but Ranma moved in, lightning quick, jumping up and shooting a snap kick to Kuno's chin, launching him out of the ring and into the sea of spectators.  
  
"What is going on here?" Ranma asked again, this time to himself, rhetorically, scratching the back of his head as the horde seated around him cheered and applauded. Ranma blinked when he realized that the arrayed audience had started to chant his name. His face lit up with a huge grin, and he waved back at them, acknowledging their ovation.  
  
The hair on the back of his neck prickled. He could just hear over the roar of the crowd the rushing of something thrown at his back. Ranma leapt, jumping onto the far post of the ring as a spear trailing a chain embedded itself into the mat where he'd been standing. Crouching balanced on the top ring rope was Mousse, angry determination emblazoned on his face. The young Amazon pulled back with his right arm, reeling his weapon back into the voluminous sleeve of his robe as he hopped down onto the canvas.  
  
"Whatcha do that for?" Ranma demanded. Mousse sneered contemptuously.  
  
"You have the audacity to ask that, Saotome? You know perfectly well why I want your blood. Your continued existence keeps Shampoo from being mine!"  
  
"I ain't doing any such thing!" Ranma protested angrily. "You can have Shampoo for all I care. It's not my fault that she doesn't want anything to do with you. Maybe if you didn't act like such a dope you could make time with her."  
  
"Silence!" thundered Mousse. "I'm sick of your lies and insults. Tonight I free Shampoo from her loathsome bondage to you!"  
  
"Jeeze, you sound just like Ku- yipe!" Ranma jumped off the post just before a volley of spears struck, clashing loudly against it and tearing the turnbuckles apart, scattering stuffing and nylon everywhere. He landed in the ring and quickly hopped to the side to avoid being crushed by a spiked flail. He bobbed and dodged desperately, weaving in and out of the maelstrom of chains and weapons hurtling from the sleeves of Mousse's fighting robe. He attempted to cut the distance between them several times, but was continually forced back by a concentrated barrage of metal. 'Damn, when did Mousse get so good?' he thought, jerking forward to dodge a spear shot at his head, then jumping back as a sword whipped down, barely keeping from being bisected as it cut the front of his shirt in half. Ranma snarled. "That's it, I'm outta here!" He jumped out of the ring, dropping flat on the safety mats covering the floor and out of Mousse's sight, rolling under the apron. Safely under the ring he quickly crawled to the other side, hoping that Mousse was still there.  
  
"Running away won't save you!" Mousse cried out triumphantly, pointing his arms slightly upwards and launching a stream of chains out of the ring at the area where Ranma disappeared, just as his target crawled out behind him. Ranma grabbed Mousse by the ankles and pulled, sending the Amazon crashing down onto his face, breaking his glasses. Ranma yanked him under the ropes, down to the floor, and preceded to pummel him into submission before kicking him out in the general direction he had sent Kuno. Ranma leaned against the ringside, breathing heavily, as the vast arena audience screamed and howled in delight. Ranma wearily waved back at them, and the volume of their cheers increased in response. Ranma wiped the sweat from his brow and climbed back into the ring, rolling under the bottom rope. He rose to one knee.  
  
And a hush fell over the arena, for Ryoga was waiting for him. The lost boy stood on the ring's opposite side, shirtless, with his arms crossed over his chest, his brown eyes narrowed into smoldering slits. "Ranma," he growled.  
  
"Not you too, Ryoga," Ranma groaned, wearily standing up. "What the hell is this, Try To Kill Ranma Day?"  
  
"Every day is a good day to try to kill you, Saotome," answered Ryoga.  
  
"Yeah, well, I thought at least you were over your vendetta against me," Ranma snapped in retort. "So what's your gripe now? Did I snatch a pastry from the local convenience store you had your eye on?" Ryoga grinned nastily, cracking his knuckles.  
  
"Nothing so trivial. I'm here to deal with you because the thought of leaving Akane at your mercy makes me sick to my stomach. Once I kill you, she'll be mine." Ranma blinked, incredulous, then growled in feral, quickening anger.  
  
"Why you greedy pig, what about Akari? I thought you were through chasing after Akane because you fell in love with Unryuu."  
  
"Hey, if you can go around taking advantage of four girls I figure there's no good reason on this earth that I can't love and cherish two. They'll both be mine."  
  
Ranma angrily tore off his ruined shirt and tossed it out of the ring. A very loud, high-pitched cheer rose up in the arena as the women in attendance expressed their admiration. "You know, I think we had this conversation before, back when you butted in on that damn Martial Arts Ice Skating competition. I told you then, and I'm gonna tell you now, Akane doesn't belong to you, and she doesn't belong to me either. She doesn't even belong to her family, if she doesn't wanna be. The only person Akane belongs to is herself."  
  
"Huh. I've seen how you get jealous when you think someone is hitting on her. You expect me to believe that if she told you she wanted to be with someone else you'd just let her go, just like that?" Ryoga asked scornfully.  
  
Ranma did not answer immediately. He bowed his head for a moment then looked up, staring Ryoga in the eyes with a directness and intensity that made the Lost Boy falter.  
  
"Yeah, I would," he answered simply and sincerely. "If she ever honestly told me that I'd leave her alone and wish for her all the happiness in the world, with all my heart."  
  
"Liar!"  
  
"Oh to HELL with this!" Ranma growled, "I'm through trying to justify myself to an idiot like you." With that he threw himself at Ryoga, catching him square and solid in the chest with a thrusting jump kick. Ryoga reeled back into the ropes, gasping, then with a roar of outrage leaped at Ranma with grasping, crushing hands.  
  
For what seemed to be an eternity to Ranma he and Ryoga battled from one side of the ring to the other, neither martial artist asking for or giving quarter. They attacked each other brutally and unmercifully, punching and kicking, gouging and grappling, both of them using every dirty trick they knew in an effort to get a comeuppance over the other. Finally they stood facing each other in the ring's center, bruised and bloody from head to toe, breath coming in ragged gasps. Ranma sported a broken nose while Ryoga's left eye had swelled completely shut.  
  
"You give up yet?" Ranma demanded hoarsely. Ryoga shook his head.  
  
"Never!" He threw a punch. Ranma sidestepped, slapping the blow aside then dropped to one knee and retaliated with an Amaguriken punch to the pit of Ryoga's stomach, just above his groin. Ryoga gasped, spitting out blood- flecked froth as he stumbled back a step, clutching at his belly. With a groan he fell to his knees, hacking and dry-heaving. Ranma lurched up drunkenly and kicked Ryoga in the temple. The Lost Boy fell sideways, on his stomach. He struggled for a moment to get up before slumping flat on the mat, unconscious and defeated.  
  
"I. win." Ranma muttered, a little crazily. The audience went wild, screaming and hollering, showering him with adulation. The walls seemed to quake and the roof seemed to shiver from the intensity. Ranma reeled around in a circle, startled; he had been so intent on beating Ryoga he had somehow, amazingly, forgotten about the vast horde of people watching him fight. He looked from one end of the arena to the other, an even bigger grin than before spreading across his face as they started to chant his name once again. He straightened up, invigorated by their cheers. He waved to them all. Streamers of brightly colored ribbon fell from the rafters. A P.A. system crackled and whined to life  
  
"Your winner, Ranma Saotome!" The audience redoubled their applause. Ranma felt like he was almost drowning in a sea of sound and praise. He threw up his arms and threw back his head and let out a great shout of victory.  
  
That's when he saw the cascade of water falling straight for him.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
Akane picked herself off the ground, scowling and glaring envenomed daggers at Ranma. That roundhouse kick he just threw had almost clipped her on the nose. A few other students hadn't been so lucky. They laid scattered here and there about the schoolyard, dazed and groaning. Two girls were carrying away the poor senior Ranma had used as a perch to the infirmary. She forcefully brushed the dirt off her skirt as she watched Ukyo try to restrain Ranma, throwing mini-spatulas with nylon cords tied to their handles in an effort to entangle him. Ranma avoided them all, hopping and weaving between them, then jumped straight at Ukyo. She shrieked and ran, sensibly wanting no part of the damage Ranma was dishing out.  
  
"Ranma you jerk!" Akane screamed at the insensible martial artist. "Stop dreaming and wake up before you hurt someone!" Ranma didn't react. He bounced backwards, lashing out with a thrusting back kick, followed by a spin and a flurry of punches that made the air crack and whine in their wake. Akane made a face, hoping Yuka would find that mosquito repellant soon. She didn't how much more of Ranma acting out his dreams the school could take, let alone her own nerves.  
  
Ranma bounded in Akane's general direction. She backed up, and felt her foot hit something. She looked down and saw Ranma's almost full water bottle. It must have rolled away from his bento when he jumped. She scooped it up, opening it as she strode towards Ranma, her expression determined. Ranma had stopped jumping around. He threw back his head and threw up his arms and let out a loud shout.  
  
"Ranma you moron! Wake UP!" Akane demanded, dashing the water in his face.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
A thoroughly soaked and bedraggled Ranma-chan pulled herself out of the Tendo's koi pond, muttering disgustedly to herself. "That was a dirty trick, old man!" she yelled at her father. Genma just grinned nastily, shaking his head. He crossed his arms across his chest, going into lecture mode.  
  
"Don't blame me for your own ineptitude, boy. Haven't I told you time and time again that a true martial artist is always alert, forever watching for deception on the part of his foe?" Genma paused in his pontification to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "That's your biggest problem Ranma, you let yourself get complacent, and when you do that you get sloppy." Genma shook his head sorrowfully. "What have I done to be burdened by such a lazy son?"  
  
"Lazy? Lazy!? Why you. you hypocrite! I'll show you who's the lazy one around here!" Ranma jumped on her father, grabbing him by the front of his gi top. She planted her feet solidly into Genma's stomach, forcing the wind out of him, and rolled backwards, kicking him up through the air and into the pond. She gracefully somersaulted out of the way of the splash, kipping up to her feet and turning to face the pond. "So who's sloppy now, Pop?" Ranma chided mockingly. Genma-panda arose from the pond, growling, and hurled himself at his child. Ranma jumped over him and kicked down with both feet, slamming Genma into the turf. Landing next to him she then kicked him back into the pond. Ranma slapped her hands together. "Suck on that, old man!" A little less angry she walked over to the porch. Kasumi stopped her there, handing her a towel.  
  
"Please dry off in the yard, Ranma. I just polished the floor and I don't want you trailing water all over it."  
  
"No problem." Ranma took the towel and rubbed herself down vigorously. Kasumi nodded approvingly.  
  
"When you're all dry there's a kettle on the stove for you, and I put some of your clothes in the bathroom. I'm going shopping with Akane now. We'll be back in a little while."  
  
"Okay. Thanks, Kasumi." Kasumi walked off. Ranma heard her talking to Akane in the foyer, followed by the front door opening and shutting. Ranma finished drying off, folding her towel neatly and placing it on the porch. She headed for the kitchen, whistling tunelessly. There she shut off the stove and grabbed the steeping kettle. She walked over to the sink, leaned over it and poured the water over her head."  
  
"Ouch! That's too hot. I shoulda let it cool a bit." Ranma blinked. His voice didn't sound right. He looked down and saw that he evidently was still a she. "Oh no." She poured some more water over her, not bothering to keep from splashing on the kitchen floor. Nothing happened. Ranma slowly closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and screamed out on the top of her lungs.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
"I'm stuck again! AHHHHHH!"  
  
Akane backed away from Ranma, dropping the water bottle in her shock. She hadn't expected Ranma to react like that.  
  
"What did you do to him?" Ukyo demanded angrily. Akane shook her head, waving her hands in a warding gesture.  
  
"I didn't do anything!" she protested. "I just threw water on him to get him to calm down."  
  
"Fat lotta good that did. Why didn't you throw a cat on him too for good measure?"  
  
Akane winced at the harsh remark, her face crumpling. She looked as if she were about to cry. "I didn't mean. I didn't think he'd. " Ranma was running around in circles, screaming in panic. Akane shook her head, composing herself. "We got to change him back. It's obvious he's dreaming about being locked in his girl form." Ukyo glowered at Akane for a moment before nodding in agreement. She whipped out her portable grill and quickly heated a cup of water. She wrapped it in a hand towel to keep from burning herself and ran up to Ranma, who had fallen to her knees.  
  
"I'm stuck! I'm stuck! Why won't I change back? AHHHHH!"  
  
"Calm down, Ran-chan! Ukyo's here to help you, honey." She quickly dumped the cup over his head. He transformed, hair darkening, body expanding, soft skin becoming rough and hard. Ranma visibly relaxed, sighing in relief and slumping slightly. Then, inexplicably, he suddenly stiffened, all the color draining out of his face, his countenance twisting in ineffable fright. Ukyo gasped, and the gathered students whispered wonderingly at her reaction.  
  
"What happened?" Akane asked quietly, walking up behind the chef. "What's wrong with Ranma now?"  
  
"I. I don't know. I have no clue."  
  
"Mother!" Ranma gasped out harshly, voice dry and cracking. He started to tremble. "Mother!"  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
Ranma sighed in relief, wiping mingled sweat and warm water from his brow. The transformation had finally kicked in; he was male again. Though it worried him greatly that changing back into a guy had been inexplicably delayed he took comfort that he hadn't been locked in his female form. Going through that twice this year already had been more than enough. He doubted that he could bear to go through the experience a third time. Ranma looked down at the puddle on the kitchen floor. 'I better clean this up before Kasumi gets back.' He reached for the dishtowels Kasumi kept on a little rack by the sink.  
  
"Ranma."  
  
Ranma froze stock still, the blood in his veins chilling into ice water. A cold shroud of dread enveloped him, raising gooseflesh all over his body.  
  
"Look at me, Ranma." Reluctantly, Ranma obeyed, turning around slowly and fearfully.  
  
"Mother!" he gasped out. "Mother."  
  
Ranma no longer was in the Tendo house. He found himself in the middle of a grassy field. A cold, hard wind was blowing, sweeping down the long grass and tearing at his clothes. The sky above was iron gray, threatening and cheerless. His mother, Nodoka, was before him, standing taller than remembered her, towering over him, fierce and proud, her teeth bared in an expression of disgust. Her blue eyes, the eyes he inherited from her, bore into him, stern and pitiless. She wore a dark, somber kimono and held her katana in a white-knuckled grasp. An angry, crimson aura flowed about her, a corona of burning blood.  
  
"I can not even begin to express how disappointed I am with you, Ranma," she said, voice brimming with revulsion.  
  
"Mother, I-"  
  
"BE SILENT!" Nodoka screamed, half drawing her katana and ramming it hard back down into its scabbard. Ranma flinched, biting down on his lower lip. He felt a thin trickle of blood run down his chin. Tears welled up in his eyes as his mother began to rant. "This is the manly son Genma promised me? A lying coward, who shamelessly tricks and deceives his own mother at every step; Am I expected to consider that manly?"  
  
"Ma."  
  
"Yet I could have forgiven such actions if it hadn't been for the method of your deceptions. You pretended to be a girl! Bad enough that you seem to. to shapeshift between sexes, but to actually dress and act the way you did. It's intolerable! You're supposed to be a man among men, Ranma, not a man among cross-dressers!"  
  
Ranma fell to his knees. Tears poured down his cheeks unchecked. "Ma."  
  
"To think that I conceived you, that I carried you in my body and arms! The fact that my blood runs in your veins makes me sick to my stomach. What gods did I offend to merit the punishment of bearing a creature like you? You are lowly and base, Ranma, a worm to be trodden underfoot. A sick, twisted hermaphroditic freak, unworthy of a mother's love."  
  
Ranma fell on his face, thrusting it in the turf. He kowtowed before Nodoka, his body racked with sobs and gasps. "No mama... please mama... I'm sorry..."  
  
"You're not even worth the act of seppuku. I wouldn't defile a butcher's knife with your blood. There's only one proper punishment for a. thing like you. The Pit." The ground gave way under Ranma, and he fell into the earth, screaming for his mother to forgive him, to love him. Down through fathomless, inchoate darkness he plummeted, crying and groaning as his soul seared and withered under the trauma of his mother's rejection and condemnation. After eons of free fall, after an eternity of pain beyond pain, Ranma struck bottom, crushed against a floor of unyielding stone. And though he spent all his tears he still sobbed and choked, tortured beyond almost all sanity by this penultimate rejection.  
  
'I want to die. Please let me die.' he silently pleaded to anything that would listen. But nothing answered, nor did he expect an answer. In his heart he knew he was not worthy of the smallest of mercies.  
  
Ranma forced himself to sit up. He coughed then moaned. A raw throat made every breath he took a knife-stab of pain. He wiped his face and nose with his shirtsleeve, and stared owlishly into the darkness that surrounded him.  
  
Something in the darkness stared back.  
  
Sinister twin orbs hovered low in the darkness near him, glowing with a dull, angry, smoky red light. Ranma shivered in their malevolent gleam. The first pair was joined by a second, then by a third, then by dozens more, until they surrounded Ranma on all sides. They floated and bobbed about him, embers snatched from the floor of Hell, smoldering in a sea of illimitable pitch. Off in some unguessable distance there came a high, warbling yowl. Ranma gasped. Ranma choked. The scream would not come.  
  
The first pair of orbs bobbed forward, their owner revealing itself to Ranma's sight. It was a cat, a cat larger than a bobcat tom. A cat knitted from the flesh of nightmares. Steel barbed claws scrabbled across the cold pit floor. Venom dribbled from inch long fangs; drops splattering noisily on the stone, smoke trailing in its wake. Tuffs of wicked razor wire sprouted from piebald, squamous flesh, slick with a greasy sheen. A bladed tail arched scorpion-wise over its back.  
  
"No." Ranma squirmed away from it, holding out a hand to ward off this monstrosity. "No. stay back." The cat hissed and spat, then screamed like a baby being tortured. Ranma threw himself on his face, and as one the cats descended upon his back.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
Tears streamed down Akane's face as she watched Ranma sob and plead; kowtowing on the ground before the mother only he could see, begging for clemency. The gathered students looked on, dumbfounded. Never in their wildest dreams did they ever believe they would have seen him cry and debase himself like this. Akane wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, and felt Ukyo tug at her blouse's sleeve. Her expression was sick and uncomprehending.  
  
"Wha- what's wrong with him now? Do you have any idea?" she whispered.  
  
"He's having a nightmare about his mother rejecting him. That's the only other thing I think he's afraid of, besides cats."  
  
"Why would his mother do such a thing?"  
  
"It's a long story, Ukyo." Akane suddenly scowled. "It's all his father's fault, like almost everything else in Ranma's life." Ukyo snorted in disgust.  
  
"Figures. As soon as I get my spatula fixed I'm going to go smash that worthless panda flat."  
  
"I'll help you." Akane huffed and wiped at her eyes again. "Where is Yuka? How long can it take to find some damn mosquito repellant? I feel so helpless. I can't bear to see Ranma like this."  
  
"Well, at least he can't get much worse than this." Ranma threw himself onto his back. He lay there for a minute, panting for air. He suddenly stiffened, his face taking on an almost albino hue.  
  
"Cuh-cuh-cuh. CATS!!" he screamed, and began to writhe.  
  
"You were saying?" Akane commented dryly. Ukyo's responding curse was lost under another of Ranma's screams. He rolled about the ground as if he were on fire, crying and yelling as if he were being racked.  
  
"CATS! GETTEM OFF ME GETTEM OFF ME GETTEM OFF ME PAPA LET ME OUT LET ME OUT SOMEONE HELP ME MAMA HELP ME HAVE MERCY PLEASE!!" Ranma screamed again, hunching up on his knees, practically burying his face in the dirt. He lashed out with an arm. Fear fueled ki coruscated about it like vines of purple-black thorns. A wave of energy pulsed from his strike. The crowd of students shrieked and scattered away from the blast, which gouged the ground in its passing and struck a wall of the school, scorching the brick and mortar black.  
  
Ranma screamed. "CATS!! OH GOD PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME SOMEONE SAVE ME SOMEONE KILL ME PLEASE!!!" To her horror Akane saw that Ranma was clawing at himself, rending his shirt, scratching his skin open, making himself bleed. She threw herself on top of him, wrapping her arms around him and trying to pin him down in an effort to make him stop.  
  
"Ranma, stop it!" she pleaded. "Stop it, you're hurting yourself. It's only a dream, Ranma. It's not real. It's only a dream. Please listen to me I'm begging you. It's only a dream." She repeated this to him over and over, all the while thinking 'I'll kill them. Happosai and Uncle Saotome. I'll kill them both for this.'  
  
Ranma finally stopped, wilting bonelessly beneath Akane.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
All his strength had been spent. He could not fight, he could not flee, he could not even scream. All he could do was weep as the hellcats tore the shirt from his back, the skin from his flesh, the flesh from his bones. They clawed and bit at him in sadistic, frenzied ecstasy, their lust for his fear and agony insatiable. Ranma hoped that the end would come soon, but knew from experience it would not, for cats always played with their prey before killing it.  
  
Then over the yowling of the hellcats he heard a rush, like the roar of a gale, and all at once the cats on his back were thrown off, yowling in protest and fright. Dazed, Ranma looked up, unsure of what happened. The stone oubliette he had been cast into was now lit, its filthy darkness banished by clean, white light. The pack of hellcats were scattered about against the walls. Some had their backs arched and claws ready, hissing and spitting with false bravado, while others cowered against the stone and mewled in terror. Hovering in the air before Ranma, beautiful and awesome in her righteous wrath, was Akane. Dressed in a short yellow fuku with a scarlet jewel on her breast, white angel wings spreading out from her shoulders, and a golden halo surrounded her form. In her hands she wielded a silver wrought hammer.  
  
"How dare you hurt him!" she cried out. "Return back to the nightmares that spawned you!" She attacked, using her hammer to great effect, hurtling the hellcats out of the pit shrieking, or smashing them down into the ground, sending them back to the depths of Hell. Once she had destroyed them all she turned to Ranma, dropping her hammer. It vanished before it struck the floor. She walked to him, holding out her arms. "Are you alright, Ranma?" Her halo touched him, and he inhaled sharply at the contact. Wounds on his body sealed and disappeared painlessly. His clothing miraculously stitched itself back together. The pain in his soul seeped out and faded. Ranma gazed into her warm, brown eyes, eyes he could lose himself in forever, if he'd let himself.  
  
"Akane." he whispered. She touched him, holding his face between her hands, which Ranma covered with his. He shut his eyes, savoring her cool soft touch. He caught her up in a fierce embrace, swearing to himself he'd never let her go.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
Akane watched Ranma cautiously as he slowly picked himself up and turned to face her, having finally calmed down. She exhaled softly in relief. "Are you alright now?" She asked, not expecting an answer. Ranma smiled joyfully, and hugged Akane, picking her up off her feet.  
  
"Akane!" he cried, pressing her hard against his body. Akane's eyes bugged out. She blushed a deep, rose-red, and started to tremble. Anger tried to manifest in her, but was checked by what she had just seen Ranma suffer, and by the fact that her brain was quickly short-circuiting from the wondrous, part scary part fascinating sensations that were being invoked by being pressed against Ranma's lean, strong body. Her arms suddenly had a strange, tingly ache in their marrow. An ache she somehow knew instinctively that could be relieved by hugging Ranma back. They started to rise from their own volition, but she quickly forced them down. She could hear her fellow students whisper and gossip gleefully, and feel Ukyo's angry, jealous glare burn into her back. For a moment she could almost fancy that she could smell smoke coming from Ukyo's general direction.  
  
"Ranma must really like Akane a lot to hug her like that," someone commented. Akane shook her head violently in protest.  
  
"No, no! You got it all wrong. He. he's only dreaming. It doesn't mean a thing!" she exclaimed frantically. She glared at her comatose fiancé. "Ranma you jerk, you're embarrassing me. Let me go this instant!" He tightened the hug for an instant then gently set her on her feet. Akane started to sigh, relieved that Ranma had stopped glomping her like an Amazon, when she noticed he still had a hand on her, gently touching the small of her back. Then with his other hand he softly caressed her cheek, and brushed lightly through her hair. Incredibly, her bright blush deepened, her throat constricting and heart thumping wildly from the feeling of this intimate, loving contact. Smiling, Ranma started to lower his face to hers, and Akane realized hysterically that he was going to kiss her in front of everyone in the school and that she should really do something to stop him like punch him or hit him or mallet him, but for some reason she didn't want to because it felt so good for him to touch her like this even if he was only doing it because he was dreaming and his lips were so close now and.  
  
"RANMA YOU JACKASS!" A bento caromed off of Ranma's head, knocking him away from Akane and laying him out on the grass. Akane blinked several times, shaking her head to clear it from the spell Ranma's touch had woven over her. Ukyo stalked over to her, her expression furious, practically exhaling fire and brimstone. She got straight in Akane's face and jabbed her in the chest with a finger. "You opportunistic little hussy!" she snarled.  
  
"Wha- what did you say?" Akane stammered, disbelieving.  
  
"You heard me. How dare you try to take advantage of MY Ran-chan when he's helpless like this!" Akane's eyes bugged out then narrowed angrily. She flushed again, this time in fury.  
  
"Why, you- you- spatula slinging psycho! I wasn't taking advantage of anyone. If anything HE was trying to take advantage of me!"  
  
"Yeah, well, I didn't see you do much to stop him, tramp!" Ukyo snapped. Akane opened her mouth to retort, then stopped. A wicked thought crossed her mind. Akane drew herself up, looking at Ukyo through lidded eyes as she flashed an evilly mischievous smile.  
  
"Why Ukyo, I think you're jealous!" Akane declared. Ukyo sputtered.  
  
"Wha-wha- What? Yeah, right, me jealous of an uncute shapeless tomboy like you? Get real." Akane sniffed disdainfully.  
  
"Perhaps I am uncute, but I didn't see Ranma glomping YOU, let alone try to kiss you. Maybe it's because he doesn't really think I'm uncute." Akane's smile widened. "And MAYBE it's also because you're nowhere near as cute as you think."  
  
Ukyo gasped, turning stark white. She choked and stuttered incoherently, her hands clenching.  
  
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU TENDO!" she finally screamed.  
  
"BRING IT ON, KUONJI!" Akane answered, matching her for volume and venom.  
  
"Ummm. guys?" Sayuri ventured hesitantly. Akane and Ukyo turned as one.  
  
"WHAT!?" they snapped.  
  
"I think maybe you should look at Ranma." Sayuri answered. Akane and Ukyo glared at each other and then looked at Ranma.  
  
He was glowing. The grass around him was starting to smoke, and a low, feral growl could be heard from him.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
Ranma's danger sense screamed in the back of his mind, but he had no time to react, for an instant later Akane was snatched from his arms and something struck him hard in the side of the head, knocking him to the ground. He lay senseless for a few moments, before struggling into a sitting position, hissing in pain. He shook his head to clear it, and winced as it aggravated the ache. Forcing his eyes open in spite of that he took stock of his surroundings.  
  
He was out of the pit, sitting at the foot of a small, barren hill. Arrayed on the rocky, eroded slope was a menagerie of foes he had fought in the past. Kuno, Mousse and Ryoga, his most constant opponents, were there, but they were horribly changed. Demon horns sprouted from their brows. Kuno's sword and hands blazed with a black fire, while viscous green poison dripped from the clawed gloves Mousse wore, and Ranma noted nauseously that the Amazon now had no eyes, or even eyesockets, but only smooth skin beneath his forehead. Ryoga was immense, a veritable wall of gross muscle. Great, tarter-stained tusks jutted from his lower jaw, and his body glowed with the lead-gray power of the Shi Shi Hokoden. Along with them were enemies Ranma had fought rarely, or but once. Pantyhose Taro towered above all in his cursed form, a monstrous, mutant minotaur spawned from Grecian nightmares. The writhing squid tentacles that grew from his back were now barbed as Ranma had once had feared, and stinking fire and spittle spumed from his nose and mouth as he snorted and rasped. Herb hovered nearby, superficially unchanged, but made unearthly by the aura of unnatural energy pulsing around him, the heritage of his inhuman lineage. Ryu Kumon glared down at Ranma from the heights with mad, vengeful eyes, his army khakis torn and bloodstained, his strong hands smoldering from the powers of the forbidden, murderous Yamasenken they contained.  
  
On the top of the hill Shampoo, Kodachi and Ukyo watched laughing, all dressed in the scantiest of silks, vampire fangs flashing in their mouths, succumbi wings spanning from their backs. And with them, on her knees, was Akane, bound and gagged with cruel iron bands, the other girls' feet on her back. Tears of pain poured down her cheeks as she pleaded to him silently with frightened eyes.  
  
Ranma growled; a deep, threatening rumble, like that of a tiger roused to anger. Thunder flashed in his blue eyes as anger of an intensity he had never known ignited in his chest. Suddenly aflame with ki, he roared in defiance to the demonic mockeries that jeered and taunted him from the hill.  
  
"LET. HER. GO!!"  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
"LET. HER. GO!!" As one the entire student body of Furinkin High fled, their collective sense of self-preservation finally kicking in at the sight of a furious, screaming Ranma lit up like a Roman candle by flames of incandescent ki. Ranma crouched, and then charged, leaving a burning trail behind him. Akane, Ukyo and Sayuri all yelped and scattered, throwing themselves to the ground to avoid being run over. Ranma attacked the air with a volley of punches and kicks, assaulting unseen enemies with murderous intent. He reared back, cupping his hands and filling them with power. "I won't let you take her from me! Give her back!" he ranted, and unleashed the ki blast. It screamed through the air, striking the athletic field's fence and reducing the section it hit into a melting slag of metal and plastic. Akane jumped to her feet just as Ranma screamed again. "GIVE ME BACK MY AKANE!!"  
  
Akane gasped, but quickly shook herself out of her surprise. She didn't have time to indulge in such a thing, not with Ranma going off like a nuclear bomb. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sayuri running for her life and Ukyo lying on the ground with hands covering her head. Akane was the only one left near Ranma, and perhaps the only one with a chance of stopping him. She had to stop him, before he inadvertently splattered someone across Nerima. She recalled that somehow he seemed to be able to sense her presence while dreaming, so maybe she could talk him down off of his rampage. If worse came to worse, perhaps a good swat to the head would bring him out of it, though the thought of trying to hit a frenzying Ranma made her want to wet herself. Inhaling deeply and praying that it wouldn't be her last breath, Akane charged.  
  
Ranma slashed and struck at the air, screaming out imprecations and demands at the demons in his dreams, when he felt soft, strong hands grasp him by the shoulders. A familiar voice, worried and frightened, pierced the haze of his dream-induced anger, stopping him short.  
  
"Ranma stop it, I'm alright. I'm right here. Please stop this Ranma, you're going to hurt someone." Akane entreated desperately, practically babbling. Ranma sighed, relieved, his shoulders slumping, dropping to his knees as anger left him and his ki drained away. He reached up and covered Akane's hands with his own.  
  
"Akane." he murmured.  
  
"I'm right here, Ranma. It's alright." Akane murmured soothingly.  
  
"Akane. don't leave me," he whispered, holding her hands tight. "Never leave me again, please."  
  
"I. I won't, Ranma," Akane whispered back after a moment, voice quavering, nearly breaking. "I'll never leave you. I promise." Ranma sighed, letting go of her hands and bowing his head. Soon he was snoring softly, sleeping in peaceful dreamlessness. Akane did not let him go.  
  
"I found it!" Yuka cried out, waving a packet above her head as she dashed towards Akane and Ranma.  
  
"Thank God!" Akane exclaimed fervently. "Quick, light it up Yuka. Let's get Ranma awake before he starts dreaming again." Yuka placed the incense in front of Ranma and set a match to it. Its pungent aroma arose quickly, the smoke tickling at Ranma's nose. He snorted then shook his head, as if something was buzzing about it. He reached out quickly with a hand, grabbing at something in the air. With the third grab his eyes snapped open. He blinked, and looked around, a little dazed.  
  
"What the-?" he muttered. "Whoa." He staggered up to his feet. "I feel weird. Musta dozed off. Man, did I have some strange dreams." Akane stared at Ranma wide eyed, then started to giggle hysterically. He looked at his fiancée curiously. "What's so funny?" he asked, a little petulantly. He looked around again. "And where did everyone go? Did the bell ring already?"  
  
"Oh Ran-chan, you're awake!" Ukyo cried gleefully, glomping onto Ranma. Akane immediately stopped laughing and glared at the two. It intensified tenfold as Ukyo started to rub herself against Ranma.  
  
"Hey U-chan, lay off." Ranma protested, trying to squirm out from Ukyo's hug, but she refused to let go.  
  
"But I'm just so glad to see that you're alright, Ranma-honey. I was so worried about you."  
  
"Why were you worried? Just what's going on around here?"  
  
"Oh, it's not important. Ranma, you are fully awake now, aren't you?"  
  
"Of course I am! How would I be talking to you otherwise?"  
  
"And you still think I'm your cute fiancée, right?"  
  
"Well. umm. you ARE cute, Ukyo," Ranma answered honestly. "But-" Ukyo put a finger to Ranma's lips to silence him.  
  
"That's all I wanted to hear, sugar. And now, I want to give you a few things." Ukyo closed her eyes, inhaled deeply.  
  
And socked Ranma right across the jaw.  
  
"OW!"  
  
.  
  
"That's for throwing me across the yard like I was Kuno!" She punched him again. "That's for throwing me a second time!" She nailed him in the stomach, doubling him over. "That's for ruining my best fighting spatula," she booted him in the face, sending him flying. "And THAT'S for glomping onto Akane and trying to kiss her instead of me, you jack-ass! Next time don't you forget who your cute fiancée is, or else!" Ukyo smacked her hands clean. "Don't bother coming over for free meals until you apologize." With that Ukyo turned on her heel and stalked off.  
  
"What the hell did I do?" Ranma groaned before passing out. Akane just walked up to him, shaking her head.  
  
"I'll try to explain it to you later, Ranma." She took hold of his pigtail and dragged him off to the school infirmary.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
At the end of the school day Ranma and Akane walked home together, Akane skipping and whistling happily, while Ranma grumbled and sulked on the fence, nursing his bruises, muttering curses at stupid okonomiyaki chefs and perverted old freaks and the general unfairness of the world and why he was always having bad days one way or the other. Suddenly irked by her demeanor, he glared down at Akane.  
  
"Hey, what are you so happy about?" he demanded. Akane just looked up at him and smiled brilliantly. In spite of his foul mood Ranma's scowl softened. He felt his heart skip a beat the way it always did when she favored him with a smile, and all of a sudden the day didn't feel all that bad.  
  
"Oh, nothing much," Akane answered lightly. "Just thinking about some pleasant dreams."  
  
  
  
//////////  
  
  
  
Author's Notes and Acknowledgements  
  
I wish to thank Lord Archive, MissTanith and Mad Hamlet for their pre- reading and interest.  
  
My good friend Joe McGlone, the Fallenmage, is being kind enough to host my work. If you feel so inclined please go check out his site at www.geocities.com/fallenmage1/ . To read my stories you'll need Adobe Acrobat. Also while you're there please tell Joe what you think of his web page.  
  
As always, I'm interested in constructive comments and criticism. Please send any C&C you care to share to DorianVal@aol.com. Don't bother with flames, please. If you find yourself incapable of writing politely then don't write to me at all.  
  
Thank you for your time and tolerance,  
  
Jeremy Harper 


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